beautiful Chicky

This is my best buddy. Mommy's little boy. I think he looks so pretty here.....
:)

July 5th, 2007

I'm posting an update. Maybe no one will read it, but since essentially I am doing this blog for me that's ok.



I have lost 9.5 more pounds for a total as of a year ago today of 82 pounds.



Mr. Betta died yesterday. It was very sad. I cried like a baby. Lots of people would say it was just a fish. But it wasn't to me. He was given to me by someone I care deeply about, so there was the sentimental part of the loss. I had Mr. Betta for a year and he was a truly beautiful Betta fish with his own personality. No matter who or what, human or animal, big or small, when the breath of life leaves a being, I think it is very sad. It always seems so.... final.
I hope God has a very large aquarium and Mr. Betta is up there with Him swimming around happily. I Hope.

:(

New post 2-23-07

I have had a really rough time the last few months.

Back in November, I convinced myself that I could take 2 days "off" of eating low carb for Thanksgiving.

Maybe some could, but not me.
Oh, no. I forgot (or was in denial of) the fact that I have an alcoholic, addictive personality.

I struggled to get back on track, but then Christmas came and..... oh. Now I'm crying. I gained about 20 pounds back. Oh, God, how I hated that! I hated the way it made me feel, physically and emotionally. I swore I wouldn't do it and I DID!

It was hell. Pure hell. Every single day I fought to get my carbs back down. Every day for awhile (too long!) I failed. I gave up logging them for almost two weeks. That was even worse. That was way more dangerous for me. No accountability at all.

I yelled, I cried, I was furious, I prayed. I begged God to help me. Nothing seemed to be working.

Finally. Oh, yes.... finally I was reigning in the carbs. I waited a few more weeks. Then I went to get weighed. Judgement time. I needed to find out whatever it was, the good, the bad, or the ugly.

I lost all of whatever I had gained back and 12.5 more pounds!!! Praise God. I did it!
I'm finding out that this is a lifelong struggle. This is NEVER going to be easy for me. I've accepted that. We all have our "crosses to bear" in this life and obviously this is one of mine.

Seventy pounds.

Who would have thought it?
:)

Splash

Can you tell I like Splash? 

Splash once more

 

Splash again

 

Another of Splash

 

SPLASH!!

Introducing my new Betta, Splash. I've had him about two weeks ago. A friend bought him for me. Isn't he pretty? 

Splash

I got a new Betta!! I think I'm Betta crazy. Here he is but these pics are so small you can barely see him. If you want to see bigger pics, email me. :)
 

Peewee again

 

Another view of Peewee's home

 

Peewee's New Home

This is one view of his new home. It is a 5.5 gallon tank. He should be able to stay in there for a few years anyway. 

Peewee

I haven't taken pictures of Peewee for awhile. Here is an up close one in his new home. Please ignore the ugly wires behind the tank. I need to put something pretty behind there. More pics to come. 

This is hard to see, but it's Peewee's new tank. I finally got it set up. You can barely see him on the left side. 

Old MacDonald's in my mind

This is my vision of a little farm. I giggle every time I look at it. It's so primitive. That's all for now. I don't want to bore you too much.
Hey! You out there! Have a wonderful and safe Thanksgiving! 

ALL SAFE

I'm pretty proud of this picture. It won Honorable Mention at my college art gallery. It is titled ALL SAFE because it made me feel like everyone was at home, warm, fed and safe. 

My Beanie

 
Ok, so I had to interrupt the art for a minute. I saw this picture of Beanie (my Bean) and it is so representative of her I had to post it. 

Beautiful Flowers

 
This is, as you can see, another Reader's Digest back. They really used to put some awesome pictures on the back. I don't like pastel colors. I like vivid, bright and deep colors. Colors that can move your soul. This is one such picture. 

House in country

 
This one is just one from my imagination. I've always loved the country and the rustic, plain houses and I love, love, love snow. This is just a house I wouldn't mind having. 

My Cat, Luke

 
Before my birds were dogs and cats. Luke was a favorite. He would wear dresses without losing his macho facade. I miss him...