New post 2-23-07

I have had a really rough time the last few months.

Back in November, I convinced myself that I could take 2 days "off" of eating low carb for Thanksgiving.

Maybe some could, but not me.
Oh, no. I forgot (or was in denial of) the fact that I have an alcoholic, addictive personality.

I struggled to get back on track, but then Christmas came and..... oh. Now I'm crying. I gained about 20 pounds back. Oh, God, how I hated that! I hated the way it made me feel, physically and emotionally. I swore I wouldn't do it and I DID!

It was hell. Pure hell. Every single day I fought to get my carbs back down. Every day for awhile (too long!) I failed. I gave up logging them for almost two weeks. That was even worse. That was way more dangerous for me. No accountability at all.

I yelled, I cried, I was furious, I prayed. I begged God to help me. Nothing seemed to be working.

Finally. Oh, yes.... finally I was reigning in the carbs. I waited a few more weeks. Then I went to get weighed. Judgement time. I needed to find out whatever it was, the good, the bad, or the ugly.

I lost all of whatever I had gained back and 12.5 more pounds!!! Praise God. I did it!
I'm finding out that this is a lifelong struggle. This is NEVER going to be easy for me. I've accepted that. We all have our "crosses to bear" in this life and obviously this is one of mine.

Seventy pounds.

Who would have thought it?
:)