MONDAY LATE NIGHT & The 12 Step Program

I am sharing on my blog tonight what I shared on facebook earlier;

 have struggled with my weight all of my life. I had gotten to the point of being at another all time high at 382 and decided to go back to the 12 steps of AA. Or in this case O.A. Unfortunately there are no face-to-face meetings here in town anymore, but then I don't have a car anymore either. So I found phone meetings. It's like a big conference call..

When people, whether they are a speaker that night or just 'sharing', they are truly giving each of us strength and hope, which, if we sincerely "work the program" we then have our own "experience, strength and hope".  This program is an amazing one. It teaches a person honesty in all aspects of life. It teaches healthy thinking and behaviors no matter what your background or experience. I have had psychological counseling at various times in my life and it has been extremely helpful. I became a Christian (born again; saved by the blood of Jesus) in May of 1988. That has helped me tremendously, but I still had a LOT of resentment towards some people. I still had an anger problem. I think God does make us the way we are for a reason and uses our circumstances to work for His and others' good (Romans 8:28).Because my anger, aimed at the right target, has been helpful to many at various times in my life.

One of the things I have learned in the O.A. program is that resentments to us, are like poison. Resentment is damaging to our mental health and our spiritual health and that greatly affects our physical health. One thing that was hard for me was to realize according to the Big Book and OA literature that as a compulsive over eater I am different from other people. "Other" people can have 1-2 slices of pizza and STOP. Or they can have a sliver of cake and STOP. I can NOT. If I eat pizza, I eat almost all or all of it. Cake? Ha! I have to stay away from cake because it is spongy and soft and the entire thing can go down in nothing flat.
This kind of knowledge about myself is crucial if I am to have recovery. But it is this kind of knowledge that lets me know that besides weighing too much, being a compulsive over eater bleeds into all other areas of my life. It makes me impulsive. I often do and say things impulsively that had I waited until the emotions pass, I wouldn't have done "thus and so" and wouldn't have to practice several of the steps by apologizing, making amends and asking forgiveness. Some people would think that sharing this on facebook is a huge mistake. That is okay. They are entitled to their feelings as is anyone else. I am sharing this because of step Twelve (12) - "Having had a Spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to compulsive overeaters and to practice these principles in ALL our affairs" . If my sharing this helps even one other person, it is worth it.

One thing about the 12 step program is, to me, as a Christian, like the icing on the cake. It is completely complimentary to the bible, although you don't have to be a believer to be in the program. In the AA Big Book there is even a chapter for the Agnostic. But for me, as a Christian, it gives me clarity in saying "I made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God as I understand Him". O.A. gives me awareness. Awareness of my thoughts and my reactions. It helps me to stop acting compulsively and impulsively towards food and beyond food. I will always be sick when it comes to food and these abnormal ways of being, but today I can practice the steps and find sanity and I only need to be willing. God will "do for me what I can not do for myself".

On page 63 of the BB, it says as a prayer to God, "Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties (my character defects; step 6) that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy power, Thy love and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!".
Friends, I honestly could go on and on about how the 12 step program has changed my life but I will stop for now. I am far from "there". I've only worked the first three steps. I am working on my 4th step now. But I must also practice humility to the best of my ability, for it is when I think I have "arrived", that my old habits and patterns are closest to tripping me up. I can't handle another relapse. It would kill me. And before it would kill my body, it would kill my soul and spirit.... so please allow me to end by "Step 1: I admitted I am powerless over food (and other people, places or things) and that my life had become unmanageable. Step 2: Came to believe that a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity (more healthy ways of doing things) Step 3: I made the decision to turn my will (all of it!) and my life over to the care of God as I understood Him. and step 4: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. ... and that is where I am at now. Thank you for any of you who stayed with this all the way. I love you all and want only God's blessings and best for you and yours......

https://www.oa.org/membersgroups/find-a-meeting/